- Steve Dipaola/Portland Timbers
- Bow to your overlord, d-bags! BOW!
Some might say this happened a long time ago ... buuuuuuut the outer posts of Timbers Army were allegedly ambushed by a group of
douchebags Vancouver fans bachelor partiers "dude-bros" outsiders on Saturday night, prompting a not-exactly-tongue-in-cheek post by TA's blogger Andrew Brawley.
The former bouncer and current OLCC permit-holder gives his play-by-play of the action off the pitch, wherein 20 likeminded, similarly dressed gentlemen gathered at the edges of 208 and quickly fell out of formation:
When all 20-ish of them insist on wearing matching bright yellow or bright orange trucker hats, they identify themselves as a group aching to be noticed. When they aren’t participating in pre-match Timbers chants, they demand my attention. When they subtly-but-noticeably boo our Timbers as they enter the field for pre-match practice, my gut tells me something is up.
However, there was nothing visible at this point that ultimately said “these people are Galaxy fans, get them out of here before something bad goes down.”
That is until one of them removes their shirt to reveal a Sharpie-drawn LA Galaxy logo on his chest, and a mock jersey-style “Beckham” and “23” on his back. NOW WE’RE IN BUSINESS!
Brawley, who notified stadium/TA security and a 107ist board member, is unapologetic about helping 86 the d-bags, making a larger point about scalpers.
I understand the need to resell tickets to a match that you can’t attend. You want to get your money back. Nobody will sweat you for that.
However, when you blindly post your tickets for sale on Craig’s List, StubHub, or any number of reseller sites, or sell your tickets to those dirty, filthy scalpers lurking in front on JWF on match days, you are essentially handing over the keys to the Timbers Army’s vehicle, and allowing anyone to jump in for a ride, regardless of their condition and/or intent.
The Timbers themselves ceded a bit of ground, too, on Saturday night, when a horrifically captivating four-goal, nine-minute stretch doomed Portland to a 5-3 loss to the Los Angeles Galaxy. World-class players did their thing, as David Beckham scored twice in spectacularly bendy fashion, while Portland's Kris Boyd and Robby Keane each added a pair of goals in a madcap nationally-televised match.
Timbers interim coach Gavin Wilkinson—at Portland's helm for the team's first match since coach John Spencer was fired—shouldered the blame for the loss, noting "there's been lot happening this week." Timbers Cap'n and right back Jack Jewsbury, whose defense flat-out lost its concentration during the nightmarish four-goal stretch, said any hangover from Spencer's sacking didn't affect the team on the field.
"Not at all," Jewsbury said. "The reality is, the majority of the guys in the locker room have been through changes like this before.
"It's not on one person, one individual. We're a group and everything we do relies on everyone as a group coming together and fighting for one another."
Buoyed somewhat by an improved offensive effort, Portland heads to SoCal for an oddly scheduled 1 p.m. match on Wednesday against Chivas USA. When asked whether the Timbers could still salvage the season, Wilkinson answered like I suspect Spencer would have.
"Definitely," Wilkinson said. "I'm a bit shocked by the question, to be honest."