Via FilmDrunk I learn of the totally bullshit way that the new PG-13 Total Recall is going to "show" a woman with three breasts—easily the only part of the good ol' R-rated Total Recall that anyone ever talks about. At fancy dinner parties I'm always like, "Let's talk about what Kuato's home life might be like," or, "Let's talk about the philosophical ramifications of utilizing ancient alien technology in order to terraform a planet we're clearly already exploiting just as we did Earth," but whatever halfwit jackass I'm talking to is always like, "Heh, that's the movie with the lady with three boobs in it!" and then I sigh and grudgingly participate in the resultant high five. (Please note the title of the YouTube above: "Girl with 3 Breasts !!! Total Recall Hooker with 3 BOOBIES!!")

ANYWAY, knowing that (A) they wanted to make the new Total Recall for children, and (B) they'd piss off halfwit jackasses everywhere if they didn't at least make a token inclusion of Ol' Tri-Titty (WHAT, don't look at me, that's what director Paul Verhoeven called her on set, that guy's a jerk), the makers of the new Total Recall came up with a solution that will please absolutely no one. (Except for maybe my boss, Wm. Steven Humphrey, who informed me that PG-13 Ol' Tri-Titty "is simultaneously grotesque and hot," then locked himself in the bathroom.) Head over to the Daily Mail to be disappointed.

P.S. Sorry everyone, this is probably one of the dumbest posts I have ever written.