[Editor's Note: Up-and-comer comedian/actor Alex Falcone—who you've seen perform with Action/Adventure theater, as well in the live talk show Late Night Action w/ Alex Falcone—will be furnishing semi-regular updates from the road to give us an inside peek at the real life of a struggling comic. Want more Alex? Check out his website and follow him on that Twitter contraption (@alex_falcone).]

Episode 17: TV

Thursday, July 26 - Fort Wayne, IN

This is my first time hanging out in the flyover states. They should really be called drive-thru states, because the people here need to eat better. I don't want to seem judgy, I'm on the chubby side myself, but HOLY CRAP, MIDWEST. Eat a freaking vegetable. This is the skinniest I've felt since I got mono and couldn't eat for two weeks.

It's also far too expensive to drive across Indiana. Every 12 miles I have to stop and give a despondent hoosier $2.50. I find it hard to believe that in two hours I did $25 worth of damage to their precious highway.

This is the farthest east I've ever done standup, and it's also the most culture shock I've felt. When I got to my hotel, and I'm not exaggerating here at all, there were tractor pulls on 3 of my TV's 24 channels. If you've never seen a tractor pull, it's when you tie a truck to another truck and then bore me to tears.

My hotel is between a bingo parlor and a strip club. The strip club has a sign out front that says "Carry out available." I'm not sure if they mean the food or the strippers, but either way it's not a good idea for your home life.

The hotel doesnt want you to wear boots inside. Id prefer this sign to be for people leaving the building.]
  • The hotel doesn't want you to wear boots inside. I'd prefer this sign to be for people leaving the building.]

On Camera

The comedy club here plays host to a reality/talk show on Thursday nights. It has the comics performing their material, interviews with them, and backstage footage. I was aware of the show but not of the reality part that meant I'd have cameras in my face from the moment I walked in the door.

I'm sure if you're on Survivor you get used to cameramen—the same way you get used to being a horrible personbut this was my first time on TV (unless you count playing multiple characters in the same scene on Leverage). They also filmed me in the green room which is usually the sanctuary where I relax and get ready for a show. Instead of that ritual, I spent my pre-show time trying to look natural, which is like trying not to get an erection at the dentist's office. The more you think about it, the less it works.

I have no idea how the show came out because it only airs regionally. I can purchase a copy of the show on DVD but on principle I don't pay for things I made possible. I also don't like watching reality TV.