What Unites the Democrats? Fear, fear, fear!
North Korea Loosens Up: Informants inside the insane, reclusive state say the new Supreme Leader is introducing small agricultural reforms with traces of capitalism.
State of Unrest: A suicide bomber in Afghanistan kills 25 people.
Whattup, "Bowhunter"? The Secret Service's name for Paul Ryan is Bowhunter. Obama's is "Renegade."
McDonalds Goes Vegetarian: The "meat"-lovin' chain opens up a veggie only branch in India, where many people eat neither pork nor beef.
Pirate Booted: The imprisoned founder of Pirate Bay is being deported to Sweden.
The Endless Orgasm: There's apparently a terrible condition that can cause women to climax all day long.
Nicki Minaj's "Vote Romney" Lyrics: Proving that absolutely everything will be over-analyzed in an election year, reporters jump on singer Minaj's pro-Romney rap.
Nothing is Sadder than Elephants Dying. And that's happening in record numbers in Africa, where ivory is paying for warlords' weapons.
The End of Summer: Today is the first day of school for Portland's suburbs.
The Best Kind of Bribery: The parents of two twins handed out preemptive apologies on a flight.