While the I, Anonymous Blog is a great place to drop off your rants about killer hillbillies and swinging mailmen, don't forget it's also great for confessions! Like this one, where a first date at the movie theater turned horribly awry.

That's when I realized to my horror that what I mistook for simple gas was indeed a foul jet of blackest putrescence. It smelled like roadkill and sulfur, and it was sticking hotly to the inside of my pants.

I panicked.

Find out how this person panicked (hint: not in an exactly brave way) in the I, Anonymous Blog, where we always carry an extra pair of underpants... just in case.