I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back when the book is finished. —Dan
Originally published June 28, 2007:
I have two vaginas. I'd had a number of routine pelvic exams with my old doctor, but she never discovered it. My new gyno, however, discovered my "atypical anatomy" right away last week. The anatomical specifics are irrelevant to my question—everything is fully functioning, sex isn't painful, and everything externally looks completely normal.
I'm a straight girl in my early 20s and I've only had one sex partner. Sex was great, and only occasionally did I have to take the guy's dick and redirect him to the "better" vagina. We were each other's firsts—at the time I figured the occasional readjustment was par for the course. I didn't find out about my two vaginas (sounds like a sitcom) until after the relationship ended.
My question: Is this something I need to reveal to new partners before sex? After? Ever?
Very Abnormal Girl
My response after the jump...
The anatomical specifics may not be relevant to your question, VAG, but I'm going to cover them for the sake of readers whose heads are exploding: VAG has what's called a "didelphic uterus." A female's reproductive bits develop in utero when two tubes, the MÜllerian ducts, fuse together to form a unitary uterus. If those ducts fail to fuse during fetal development, a woman can wind up with two of everything—two vaginas, two cervices, two uteruses. A didelphic uterus isn't life threatening, but it can complicate pregnancy for obvious reasons.
Okay, VAG, on to your question: Are you obligated to disclose? Seeing as your condition went undetected by your first gynecologist (Dr. Magoo, I presume?), unnoticed by your first boyfriend, and places your future sex partners at no risk of physical or emotional trauma, you're under no obligation.
However, just because you're under no obligation to disclose, VAG, doesn't mean you shouldn't. This isn't something a guy wants to hear when he's down on one knee with a ring in his hand. ("Yes, honey, yes! And I have two vaginas.") But disclose too soon—before your first sexual encounter—and you risk scaring a guy off; disclose too late—after you've been having sex for a while—and you risk humiliating a guy, e.g., most men like to think they would notice that the woman they're sleeping with has two vaginas. Even if, of course, most guys wouldn't.
What you need is a rule of thumb: If I had two vaginas, I would disclose at month three. But I don't have two vaginas, VAG, you do, and you'll have to pick the time that feels right for you.