GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I'm a sexy mama (mama) who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna). LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Paula Broadwell, the All In author who had an affair with General Petraeus, is suspected of keeping "significant amounts" of military documents in her home... some classified. In the General's defense, those storage units are expensive!

Nancy Pelosi is expected to stay on as House Democratic leader. Fine, whatever, I didn't want the job anyway.

An Israeli airstrike assassinates the most senior leader of the Palestinan Hamas group (and probably his son)—soooo... cue escalation.

Attention residents of Laurelhurst! Toyota has recalled over 670,000 Prius Hybrids! (Let your nannies know they'll have to stay with the kids an extra hour while you take it to the shop.)

Good tax news for gays! If the Supreme Court strikes down DOMA later this month, same-sex couples could see big tax windfalls. (That means most fabulous wedding evarrrrrr!)

Here are some Australian pics of yesterday's solar eclip—GAAAAAAHHHH!! MY EYES!!!!!!

In case you missed it yesterday, the man who accused Elmo's puppeteer of having an underage sexual relationship with him has recanted his story—which made Elmo giggle a lot.

In sporty sports, the Blazers smack down the Kings 103-86 to snap a four-game losing streak.

In more homoerotic news: GUYS! Hunky movie star Channing Tatum has been declared by People magazine as THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. (Naturally, I was disqualified from the competition because I'm dead.)

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Mostly dry with highs in the mid-50s through Friday, but prepare for a sopping wet weekend.

And finally, this breaking news special report from Gustavo AlmaDOHvar, Channel 9, Eyewitness News!