New Year's Resolutions: What are YOU Resoluting?

Comments

1
Craft a Grammy-winning song made up entirely of autotuned queefing.
2
Also, keeping it classy in the new year.
3
Dear Todd,

Other than the part about Grammy-winning, doesn't that describe most of the usual Top-40?
4
I don't make New Years' resolutions. That way there is no disappointment or pressure.
5
Mine is to not blow it when women show interest in me, cause I did that TWICE IN 2012!!! AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!! (I wasn't sure what category that belonged in, so I put it under "learn how to roller skate backwards.")
6
Gonna keep my pubic patch in snazzier shape and try to blackout less--while rollerskating backwards!
7
I've been trying to only buy things made in the USA. Not so easy. I'm looking at you, Fred Meyer