The drone war memo that came out last week has rightly stirred a lot of handwringing about due process and ethics. But no one should be surprised that Barack Obama—especially in matters of national security and defense—has hardly been a shiny and gallant liberal hero. Oh, and you know what else? He's also hardly been the second coming of George W. Bush.

More popular than the last few times he tried this, the president is hoping his tried-and-true State of the Union formula—calling out Republicans for screwing the middle class, acknowledging the high cost of college, urging public investment in infrastructure and science—plays a little better this year.

Seriously, though. College is getting way too fucking expensive. With student loan debt topping $1 trillion, even "working your way through school" isn't a guarantee you'll escape crippling debt.

The snowy mountain manhunt for a fired Los Angeles cop accused of killing three people and posting a devastating manifesto about institutional racism within LAPD is hitting day four—and bringing, for the first time, the promise of a reward for his capture.

The LA-cops-are-STILL-racist meme, meanwhile, has rattled the department's leadership so much that Chief Charlie Beck has promised to reopen the case that got Christopher Dorner fired. But "not to appease a murderer," he says, naturally. "I do it to reassure the public that their Police Department is transparent and fair in all the things we do."

Joe Paterno's relatives put out theirt own report on Penn State's Jerry Sandusky serial-child-rape-and-coverup scandal. Predictably, it finds the dead football coach did nothing wrong and how dare anyone suggest otherwise.

Mayhem, as in a shooting that left four people hurt, erupted on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras festivities. And of course, the whole thing was caught on the camera of some breast-seeking tourist.

A Hindu bathing festival in Northern India attracted millions of devotees, kicking off a stampede that killed 10 to 20 people and left an additional 30 injured.

Now that it's got the taste of Syria-flesh, Israel might not be able to stop itself from attacking again. And again and again and again.

Britain's troubles with horsemeat can be laid at the feet of Italian and Polish gangsters.

Iran's president is pretending he's not the puppet of his country's ruling clerics, promising to personally talk about his nukes with the United States if we "pull away the gun from the face of the Iranian nation" and relax sanctions that clearly are making life there miserable.

Action god Steven Seagal is doing a solid for that racist dick of sheriff in Phoenix, agreeing to teach hand-to-hand combat to hillbillies who volunteer for school-"protecting" posses.

Egypt just banned YouTube for a month over the site's refusal to remove an American-made anti-Islam video.

LOOK! LOOK, I SAY! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'LL BE MISSING! DO YOU SEE, EGYPT!? DO YOU!? OH, THAT IS RIGHT! YOU CANNOT! HA HA HA!