Dispatch From The Wedding Industrial Complex: Cake Tasting

Comments

1
By the time you get to cake, everyone should be too drunk to care what it tastes like. Spend the money on booze instead.
2
Nice hoodie.
3
I didn't have a cake at my wedding. Nobody cared.

But I'm getting a divorce, so what the hell do I know.

Weddings are a racket and being married sucks. Happy Valentine's Day, though, and good luck.
4
No, seriously, green is one of my favorite colors.
5
We got Voodoo Doughnuts for 100 people for $60 including custom bride and groom doughnuts. So much better than cake!
6
Blahblah3579 got married on Portlandia.
8
WAIT JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE--JONESER IS SINGLE NOW?! HOT DAMN. I'M-A GO PUT ON MY MARRYIN' SUIT.
9
Dude, should have gone with pie!
10
$900 could buy a whole lot of opium. Opium for your guests: that's the ticket.
11
Alex, your 12-year old niece is cute, but are you sure the whole marriage thing is legal? I kid, I kid.

My wife and I did the carrot cake from Pambiche. We had a small (under 50 people) outdoor wedding, devoted very little money on decorations, flowers, etc., and instead chose to splurge on food and booze. I recommend that course of action.
12
@Mike Tyson: The photo label clearly indicates that the person in the photo is his mom. So this just got really weird, didn't it?
13
maybe you should say you tried cake at papa haydn. their cake there is pretty good.

also, spend the money on booze

finally, when you are selecting cake decoration, make sure you ask for something "simple and elegant" coz wedding planners love that shit.
14
Hire your great aunt to do the whole thing for $50.
15
Yay love! Woo!

Also you look like Sam Adams.
16
Hellooooo Ms. Falcone! Would that be a Mrs or Miss?
17
I would like to take this moment to offer my hand to Joneser. Maybe "Sweet cakes by Melissa" in Gresham will make us a nice swastika cake.