Humanoid robots are progressing by leaps and bounds, getting closer every day to replacing loving, wonderful human beings with cold, unfeeling machines. But there's one area of robotics you probably haven't read much about: creepy robotic tentacles. Unlike robots that pretend they're here to help, the tentacle is only interested in taunting us and reminding us of Japanese sex cartoons we accidentally watched one time.

Ug. The Tentacle haunts my dreams, just leaning from one side to another like a menacing version of those fan guys outside of car washes.

I feel much safer when robots speak to me in the universal language, the language of Internet fads.