You're familiar with Viagra ads, right? WELL, I'M NOT. And why should I be, right? I have exactly ZERO erectile dysfunction problems, and in fact, my penis is currently the size of a Burmese Python, straining at my zipper to be set free onto a terrified world. Anyway, you may watch Viagra commercials—but I bet you haven't seen this rejected one, which features a man with far bigger problems that a floppy wiener. WATCH.