I Fixed Monopoly For You


I prefer to play Yahtzee, but make everybody keep score with their own blood.
Risk! Monopoly with armies!
I was told -and this may not be true at all- that Monopoly was first developed by an economics professor as a working model of why capitalism doesn't work. Like I say, that might be bullshit, but I like it all the same.
I can't even get anybody to play Monopoly with me anymore because it makes me too much of an asshole.

I'll play Monopoly with you any fucking time Joneser. I can't get anyone to play with me either.

I like these rules. Monopoly is the one game where no one should get butthurt about fucking each other over. That's why it was made.
@RB: That story is sort of accurate, but largely apocryphal. The following excerpt is shamelessly stolen from Wikipedia:

"In 1903, the Georgist Lizzie Magie applied for a patent on a game called The Landlord's Game with the object of showing that rents enriched property owners and impoverished tenants."


Regardless of that, and also regardless of whatever rule changes are being suggested, Monopoly is not a good game. There are any number of newer board games that are better, more fun and less awful than Monopoly. You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a walking porkchop.

My fixed Monopoly is better. It has no dice, no player elimination, no realizing in the first 30 minutes who will win. Just straight up business tactics; which is what the game should be about.


Shuffle the property cards and put out twice as many as there are players. Rearrange them from least to most expensive. Auction off the least expensive half.


Negotiate trades with players for the properties you want to try to monopolize.


Build any houses and hotels on properties you have monopolized.


Get whatever money you would normally get if someone landed on your property. Regular rules apply: triple for monopolies, more for houses and hotels.


Players are progressively taxed on their income. The richest player at 50% and the lowest player at 20%. This keeps things balanced so there's no run away winner.


Do it all again until all the buildings are gone. You will progressively be buying up more expensive properties. The person with the most money wins.