This one arrived via snail mail...

Dear Dan Savage,

This letter is about your slutty paper Now.

I have been living in Toronto since 1975 and I know whats going on with people in this society. I will be honest and tell you I am a German bombshell, and had an offer for the centerfold of Playboy when I was 21 but turned it down. I was an intellect in school and my Yugoslavion uncle bought me my first oil painting set when I was 12. He spoke 10 languages!

I had a satanic experience when I met my second boyfriend at 21 in 1976. I’ve had women come on to me as young as 7! (They were 14, I was 7.) I don’t like too many women. A lot of them stink in one way more then the other.

After reading your column “I’m happy and single” I have to say that I don’t like the advice you gave to that guy .I am single and happy too. He’s not a coward. Just because he doesn’t suck dick doesn’t mean he’s a coward!
I think you're possessed by a demon!

Since the devil is part animal, that’s where bestiality comes from. All your sick pedohiles and rapists, sick sadistic people, everyone is getting possessed. You gotta have that thrill. Your magazine is a whore demon paper. Sick fucks. Go save a homeless cat. Believe me: God loves you and wants you to go to heaven. I wouldn’t want to watch people beside me in the animal kingdom sucking each other off. I hope that if all you gay people are reborn your genitals become your noses and all you faggot lesbian clowns rot away. Such a waste! You're all possessed. Toys… rubber… cock… cunt…

I’ve been reading now on and off for years, Dan. You’re a handsome guy. It's so sad. Just like Freddy Mercury you've been taken by Satan. The most beautiful man in the world is Peter Frampton. He’s God!

Kim Mitchchell is Satan.

I can astro travel to heaven!!!!

Wow. I get a lot of letters from crazy people—it's in my job description—and I usually ignore them. But I had to share this one because I couldn't keep, "I have to tell you I'm a German bombshell," "go save a homeless cat," and, "faggot lesbian clowns," all to myself. Have a great week, everybody!