We're under budget on our Save The Dates. That's good news. We're spending money on pre-invitations to warn people that the real invitations are coming. That's dumb.

Save The Dates (STDs) are necessary because it would be ghastly to get invited to an event without being forewarned about the invitation's arrival. We spent about $200 on them including paper, printing, photos, envelopes, and postage. It's not a bad deal as far as STDs go, but couldn't we just send an eVite and then use that $200 to make it rain during the first dance?

Much dumber are chair covers. They're white cloth and ribbon combos that you put over your chairs because it would be GHASTLY to have people sit on uncovered chairs. They run between $1.50 and $5/chair cover (To rent! You don't even get to keep them in case you have another stupid wedding later). We will not be renting chair covers because my fiancee saw this picture of them and decided she didn't like them:

My fiancee saw this and said We cant rent those. It looks like a klan rally for chairs.
  • My fiancee: "We can't rent those. They make it look like a klan rally for chairs."

Cake toppers are those little plastic people you put on top of the wedding cake to remind people they're at a wedding. Because a wedding cake without action figures would be ghastly.

These are shockingly expensive ($50 for basic ones and they go [way] up from there) and for many couples, another chance to make a horrible decision. For example, this topper which I was told is a best seller.

Why would you advertise that he doesnt love you?
  • Why would you advertise that he doesn't love you?

We're still undecided about a cake topper, but I'm lobbying for this one because there aren't enough mermice in the world.

Mermice: less sexy than mermaids, less scary than mice.
  • Mermice: less sexy than mermaids, less scary than mice.