GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I put some money in the jukebox for her, you know she ate her pizza dancing to the beat. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Hugo Chavez, the popular but controversial president of Venezuela died yesterday of cancer after leading the country for 14 years.

And if you want to get caught up, here are some of Hugo Chavez' craziest quotes!

Today marks the one millionth refugee to flee from Syria—and I bet she didn't get a gift certificate for a Shari's pie.

Washington, DC is getting pounded with snow forcing many government agencies to close. They are calling it a "snowquester," because they're not funny.

American Cardinals postpone their daily Pope press briefings due to internal leaks. Man, everything they do sounds dirty.

A group of sexual abuse survivors have pegged a group of 12 cardinals who are unfit to become Pope because of how they've dealt with sexual abuse inside the church. And yes, I did say "pegged."

Best Buy—like Yahoo—is making big changes to their telecommuting policy. But how am I supposed to sell these TVs if I can't watch them all day from home?

Here's what Fox News chief Roger Ailes thinks of certain people: Newt Gingrich is "a prick," President Obama is "lazy," and Vice President Biden is as "dumb as an ashtray." These opinions will not work in his favor, I fear.

A Portland city employee is arrested by the Feds after connecting him to emails in which he allegedly aided a 2009 suicide bombing in Pakistan.

Singer Taylor Swift says there's a "special place in hell" for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler who made a joke about her at the Golden Globes. Naturally, Amy has the perfect response to this annoying fly.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Few more scattered showers today and tomorrow, but a sunny weekend is ahead!

And finally, because "Thrift Shop" refuses to climb out of my ear, here's a "Literal MS Paint" version of the video... so at least I have something different to look at?