Today in "Biting the hand that feeds you... FOR FREE, I might add":

Dear Portland Mercury,
I doubt this will make it in, as you probably have thousands of "DPM" to go through but...I hate you.
You are so boring! Your one day at a time used to bring a chuckle to my week, (as long as I skipped that ranting "Klatu" crap), and your I, Anon, used to be funny and quick witted. Are you all just too busy trying to find the best beer, coffee and bacon cupcake to write anything good or choose anything funny anymore?

For the life of me, I can't remember the last time we wrote about beer, coffee or bacon cupcakes. However, I can understand it when a former fan suddenly doesn't like us anymore—but may I suggest he visit Butte, Montana, Duluth, Minnesota, or Columbia, South Carolina? Maybe he'll find a more interesting free weekly there. Hey, you've got opinions too, don'tcha? If you can still stand us, you should totally send your rants and confessions to the I, Anonymous Blog—which admittedly, isn't as good as the Fayetteville, Arkansas I, Anonymous Blog.