BASKETBALL—There's minimal reasoning behind rivalries. Blazers vs. Knicks isn't really a rivalry, but there are plenty of reasons to root against the Knicks. (1) They're from New York. (2) New York is bullshit. (3) Their jerseys look gross. So fuck the Knicks. Go Blazers. BR
Rose Garden, 1 Center Court, 7:30 pm, $19-175

STAND-UP—Remember that sitcom Titus? The star, acerbic funnyman Christopher Titus, has had some serious life lows since then, but all the while he's been doing seriously funny stand-up. Maybe you caught his great interview on the WTF podcast; now you should go see what he's been up to since his heyday. CF
Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th, Thurs 8 pm, Fri-Sat 7:30 & 10 pm, $18-30