Yes. So very yes.
  • Yes. So very yes.
In a couple months I'm going to be an uncle for the first time. My sister had a baby shower, and that meant I had to shop at the Baby Gap for the first time.

I like babies. I know, not an earth shattering revelation; we're genetically required to like babies. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any new adults. Nobody looks across the kitchen table at their lover and says, "Honey, let's have a teenager." We like babies.

But there's a recent invention that makes babies even more adorable than evolution did on its own, and that's onesies with little animal ears. It turns out we all like babies, but we LOVE baby pandas.

Pandas weren't making enough baby pandas, so humans with seweng machines stepped in and picked up the slack.

No. No! Very very no.
  • No. No! Very very no.
But as much as I love babies with little animal ears (a lot!), that's the same amount I HATE grown ups with animal ears.

Adolescent tigers aren't cute. Stop it; you're freaking everybody out. You're the reason no couple wants to make a teenager.

And while we're at it, why is your hat-scarf-mitten-combo all connected like that? You're not stalking prey through a primitive landscape dressed in the hide of teddy bear you recently slayed. Stop it. I really need you to stop it.

Oh, you're a slutty cat for Halloween? We don't need that. That's why there are already too many cats.

And you're why nobody wants to have teenagers.