This is me right now:

  • :D

Ahem. Here we go.

So we're old, and it’s been 20 years since the game-changing Jurassic Park came out. I bet that since that time, you, like me, got obsessed, got it on VHS, watched it too many times, eventually gave the VHS to Goodwill, then maybe found an old roommate’s DVD, or caught pieces of it on TNT a bunch, and every time it seemed awesome, but you thought maybe it was just the nostalgia, because surely not everything that seemed cool in 1993 is actually all that cool.

But you guys: You’re wrong. It’s not just the nostalgia. Jurassic Park is still. Fucking. Fantastic.

And get this: in IMAX and 3D, it's better.

The dinosaurs are louder, huger, and badasser than you have ever seen them before. On the giant screen, with the volume set to “loud as shit,” this rerelease made me feel 10 years old again: small, scared, and totally awestruck. The conversion to 3D is not without some bumps, but at the most important times—like when the T-rex is trying to eat Tim and Lex in the Jeep, and whenever Jeff Goldblum has his shirt off—everything works beautifully. Beautifully! God I love this movie.

Life... finds a boner.
  • Life... finds a boner.

Aside from Lex getting excited over an interactive CD-ROM and calling herself a hacker, everything has held up with time. The only thing that could have made this rewatch better is if I’d let myself get pregnant eight years ago so I could have taken a kid to see it for the first time. I was actually jealous of parents with kids at the screening. That never, ever happens.

Sidebar: While obsessing about the movie in anticipation of the screening, I discovered this gem:

“A baby triceratops was built for a scene where one of the kids rides it. Special effects technicians worked on this effect for a year but the scene was cut at the last minute as Steven Spielberg thought it would ruin the pacing of the film.”

That does not have anything else to do with this review, but let the record reflect that I will buy whatever future Blu-ray release has this deleted scene. Also, I first read that as “baby tyrannosaurus rex” instead of baby triceratops, and how sweet would that have been?!

Sidebar sidebar: A kid riding a little T-rex makes me think of the human/dino hybrids that will NOT be in JP4 and now I’m mad about that all over again. Moving on.

Okay, yes, it is kind of bullshit for a studio to rerelease something that already made a bajillion dollars with the cynical intention of making a bajillion more, but come on. It’s fucking Jurassic Park. It is always wonderful, best on the big screen, and you don’t have to beg for an advance on your allowance to see it this time. Even though it’s been around for 20 years, you should, without a doubt, pay $20 to see it again.

Jurassic Park 3D opens today. Showtimes are here.