Everyone's talking North Korea this morning. Again. We'll spare you the details except for to say: maybe don't plan any trips to the Korean peninsula.

Just to get the most-depressing thing you'll hear today out of the way, a 4-year-old in New Jersey shot a 6-year-old in the head. What?

In much better news, US battleships are set to become more like Imperial Star Destroyers than ever before.

An earthquake has rocked southern Iran today, near the country's sole nuclear power station. Four are dead, but the nuclear reactor is still jamming out.

Remember the time we all paid like $380,000 to study duck genitals? I, for one, am still pleased with the investment.

In sporting news, the University of Louisville is your new men's basketball champion, everybody. This is welcome, since University of Michigan fans would have been just insufferable with a championship under their belts. So smug.

Here's a snapshot of my weather widget. At least today might be cool?


And most importantly: