What's on the tongues of the Mercury readers this week? Let's consult the strange world of Letters to the Editor!

—Sometimes you guys go off the grid and just want to get something off our your chest that has nothing particularly to do with us, and that's sometimes okay. Like Brian the professional motorist who gives his professional opinion on the well-trod subject of bicyclists, but you might want to give his professional point of view a bit more weight since he's not just a driver, but a professional driver. Professionally speaking, of course.

—If you buy your pet from a pet store or breeder you are being kind of a dick. No, you are.

—Unsurprisingly even talking about parking spaces is at least as stressful as finding them or—ugh—having to parallel park into them. (Can we all agree it's hilarious when you see someone back into a huge space all wrong, get embarrassed and give up, then speed off all angry around the corner? Good times.)

—Someone (sort of) wrote us a haiku about those trees that smell like semen! They're in bloom now, can't ya just smell it? Breeeaathe it iiinnn!

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Letters: It's a zoo in there.