French president Francois Hollande legalized gay marriage on Saturday, after years of French polls being in favor of gay marriage. Though there have still been oppositional protests, Hollande maintains that he “wouldn't accept any disruption of France's first gay marriages.” Said Disney princess Belle, "Finally—we can stop pretending 'The Beast' is a dude."
Kaitlyn Hunt, An 18-year-old high school student in Florida, was recently charged two felony counts of “lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 to 16” for dating her 15-year-old high school girlfriend for several months. According to Huff Post, in addition to the girlfriend’s parents getting Hunt arrested in her own home, “the 15-year-old's parents successfully petitioned the school board to have Hunt removed from school weeks prior to graduation.” Both girls had started dating before Hunt turned 18, and both sets of parents knew about it months before Hunt was arrested. Said the 15-year-old, "I am so moving to France."
Meanwhile, in a custody hearing between Carolyn Compton and her ex-husband in Texas, Judge John R. Roach declared under a "morality clause" that Compton and her lesbian partner can no longer live together. The morality clause states that it's illegal for Compton to have anyone over that she's "not related to by blood or marriage" in the house with her two children after 9pm, even though they have been raising them for nearly three years, and the children are clearly happy and healthy. Though the two would like to marry, because gay marriage is still illegal in Texas, Compton's partner must move out of the house. In related news, Texas is now changing their license plates to say "The Lone Gay Parent State."
In boring, usual news: “Tea Partiers” (not to be confused with “Spring Breakers”) accuse Obama of being a closeted gay, and being a frequenter of the Chicago gay bathhouse scene. Said one tea party member, gossip columnist, and someone who may be closeted himself for all we know, Jerome Corsi, "Obama used to go to the gay bars during the week, most often on Wednesday, and they said he was very much into older white guys.” Said most members of the Supreme Court, "Um, really?"
In non-depressing news (I know, what?) cool New York city hairdresser Michael Angelo has paired up with the Somaly Mam foundation, a foundation seeking to eradicate sex trafficking, to start a beauty school for ex-sex trade victims in Cambodia. Teaching victims provides them with a marketable skill, and the tools to become self-sustaining; unlike the hairdressers on Jerseylicious.