While this is directed at a particular Starbucks customer, it applies to EVERYONE.
Dear Starbucks Regular Customer,
You are such a beautiful, sweet and warm person. I really enjoy interacting with you. However, I am so distracted by the toxic, burning, nauseating scent that you wear, that it causes me to hold my breath, thus cutting off the oxygen to my brain which results in decreased performance and I am unable to expand to my full potential of customer service and kindness.
This person is so nice! I'm not. STOP WEARING FUCKING PERFUME, IT'S GROSS GODDAMMIT!! (Ahem.) Do you have a rant or confession you'd like to make? Drop it off in the I, Anonymous Blog—where it's always best to hold your nose.