GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Lately, I've been thinking something's going wrong. 'Cause you got an attitude. And you're not in the mood like you used to. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
President Obama shakes up his foreign policy staff by replacing resigning National Security Advisor Tom Donilon with the American ambassador to the U.N., Susan E. Rice. It's also a big FUCK YOU to Republicans for criticizing her account of the Benghazi attacks. Cue the cry-baby antics!
According to a NBC/Washington Post poll, Americans are losing trust in the Obama administration... but not Obama himself.
A gay rights activist heckles Michelle Obama—and kind of made an ass out of herself. Today's lesson: Don't heckle Michelle!
A building collapses in Philadelphia, possibly trapping up to 10 people.
Instead of choosing a temporary replacement for the recently deceased liberal Democratic senator Frank Lautenberg, Gov. Chris Christie says he wants to hold a special election—which is making Dems scream and Republicans say, "Meh. We still hate ya guts."
Sen. Saxy Chambliss—a senator from (surprise!) Georgia—blames all that gol'durn military rapin' on hormones. Is there a Nobel Prize for idiots?
The Syrian government scores a big win over the rebels after taking over the critical city of Qusayr.
For very mysterious reasons the FBI raids the offices of California senator Ron Calderon and the Latino Legislative Caucus—but won't explain why. (Maybe they left some listening devices behind?)
Don't worry, America! Those Taco Bell taco shells that their employee licked? Those weren't intended for customers! PHEW! Now shove that fucking gordito in my mouth!!
The president of Ohio State steps down after making jokes about Catholics—but does not apologize THANK YOU.
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Sunny and 82 today, sunny and mid-upper 70s the rest of the week. WOO-HOO!
And finally, WHY JAMES CRYIN'? 'CAUSE HE JUST GOT DUNKED ON! (Or the hilarious new song from Froggy Fresh—formerly Krispy Kreme—and Money Maker Mike. Go on, James! CRYYYYYY!!)