Time to feel smug, everyone who isn't a Verizon customer! Because there's no way Barack Obama's national security apparatus is secretly collecting phone data from millions of other cell providers' customers, right? It's not as if his administration sees the routine hoovering of your personal data, absent any nexus of guilt or suspicion, as a legitimate national security tool, right?

Turkey's prime minister has clearly heard the sustained outcry of thousands of protesters expressing betrayal over broken promises of democratic change. He's just decided not to listen.

"There is not a good reason in the world for the horrible things I did,” says a staff sergeant admitting guilt in the slaughter of 16 Afghan civilians in March 2012.

Once politically powerful, but now just hanging around because it obviously doesn't make sense to give way to someone more engaged and relevant and steeped in the issues of the day, Michigan Democrat John Dingell, first elected 57 years ago, is about to set a record as the longest-serving member of Congress.

A collapsed building in downtown Philadelphia left six people dead and injured 13 more after debris smashed up a nearby Salvation Army store.

Whenever Dzokhar Tsarnaev, Boston bombing suspect, phones his mom from jail, the contents of the call are public. So now we know that people on the Internet have decided to send him money.

If three quarters of Americans, according to a recent poll, see marriage equality as inevitable, then WHY THE HELL ARE SO MANY OF YOU STILL MAKING IT SO DIFFICULT.

New York cops tackled a man who pulled a knife and tried to slit his wrists behind the Today show's live sidewalk studio. None of it was captured on live television—just on Matt Lauer's Twitter.

Wells Fargo is spending a relative pittance, $42 million, to squelch claims it allowed foreclosed homes in black and Latino neighborhoods to fester neglected for far longer than in perceived white neighborhoods.

The GOP cartoon character running to be Virginia's next lieutenant governor thinks yoga is a serious step toward full-on satanic possession. In reality, it's a step toward saying awful things like "namaste" devoid of irony. Yuck.

Closed-door talks in Salem, between Governor John Kitzhaber and legislative leaders, could hand billions of dollars to Oregon schools in exchange for deeper pension cuts than previously negotiated.

The two Koreas are talking to each other again. They're doing it right before the United States and China meet. that way, when the two bigger countries yell at them, they can act like rapprochement was already their idea all along.

NEXT YOU'LL TELL ME CATS AND DOGS WILL START MAKING GENTLE LOVE TO THE ENERGETIC STRAINS OF BAD CLUB MUSIC...