GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I've seen visions of someone like you in my life. A love that's strong, reaching out, holding me through the darkest night. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

NSA whistleblower Eric Snowden gives an interview to a Hong Kong paper saying he's not in China to hide from the law, but "to reveal criminality." Confidential to Snowden: If you see a little red dot of light on your forehead? Duck!

Congress gets briefed on the sweeping public surveillance program, and their response is... "DURRRRRRRR."

Oregon Senator Ron Wyden and colleague Jeff Merkley launch a heroic bill that would declassify key rulings of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, aaaaaaand… it gets murdered on arrival.

A five-year-old boy who survived the Oklahoma monster tornado and was taken in by friends is mauled to death by the family's dog. God, if you're there, you're a real dick.

The Ohio man accused of kidnapping and raping three women in his home for ten years has pleaded "not guilty"—because... because... well, this ought to be good.

Apple is adding a "kill switch"-like update to the iPhone that will hopefully slow down the rash of... HEY!! SOMEBODY STOLE MY IPHONE!!!!

Pope Francis reveals there's a "gay lobby" in the Vatican, cryptically adding "We need to see what we can do." Okay... first: Like a hotel lobby? Does it need a complimentary juice bar?

Congrats to recent graduate Mitch Anderson who came out during his Texas high school commencement speech. Things ARE getting better!

A Canadian model claims she had sex with Kanye West WHILE Kim Kardashian was pregnant! Ohhh... Kim must be mortified! It's not like she had sex with Kanye while she was still marrie... gulp.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Showery and thundershowery today with a high of 66—but thinks are looking up on Friday.

And finally, a gay man tries to tell Conan O'Brien "how water works" and gets SCHOOLED by George Takei! (Though to be fair, I didn't really know how "nature works" until George explained it just now.)