There's been a lot of talk around here about summer footwear lately, so here's one more for you: The Flipflask.

  • Flipflask

First of all ghhaaauuuggghh... part of me died just posting that image. These things are ferociously awful. The ones with the pot leaves giving the peace sign literally want to make me hide under my desk and cry.

But! The whole gimmick with the these things is that the soles double as flasks, so that you can more easily sneak hooch into festivals, movie theaters, or wherever else your alcohol-soaked heart may lead you. Now personally I know I'm not an alcoholic just by virtue of the fact that I would rather never drink ever again than don these atrocities. (Okay, not ever again but maybe for like seven years.) But if you were an alcoholic, would the sneaky convenience of wearing flasks on your feet outweigh the indignity? Keep in mind, you'll be pouring this stuff out of the same objects that have been housing your greasy festival feet. Ew.

(By the way, this question has largely already been answered by the fact that almost all of these styles are currently sold out on the Flipflask website. So things are worse than I thought. Also, if you want some actual serious advice about what men should and shouldn't be wearing this summer, I posed the footwear question to several fashionable dudes 'round town in this week's issue. You can check out what they said here.)