TV NEWS... and some questions!

Dave Chappelle is going on tour! Is the fact that he won't be performing in Portland, a real fucking bummer?

Did Charlie Sheen fire Anger Management co-star Selma Blair? Do you remember who Selma Blair is?

In a revelation that will shock you to your very core, Community guru Dan Harmon watched season four... AND DID NOT LIKE IT VERY MUCH. Is this a reason to like Dan Harmon more or less?

ABC Family officially picks up Girl Meets World—the Boy Meets World spinoff! Is this a reason to rejoice, or a reason to contemplate your mortality?

Pics show TV chef Nigella Lawson being strangled by her husband, who says they are "not as bad as they appear," and calls it a "playful tiff." Do you think wrapping your hands around someone's throat is a good way of (as he put it) "emphasizing a point"?

Netflix is teaming up with Dreamworks to produce some new original kids programming. Will they hopefully do a House of Cards cartoon, please?

Curb Your Enthusiasm's Jeff Garlin was arrested for smashing the windows of a Mercedes during a parking spot dispute. Two part question: a) Does this incident allow the press to suggest that Jeff "curb his own enthusiam," and b) doesn't smashing the windows of a dick in a Mercedes sound like the greatest?

After Jimmy Fallon asks Olive Garden if he can use their old slogan, "When You're Here, You're Family," Olive Garden says, "Mmmm... okay!" Is this the nicest thing Olive Garden has ever or will ever do?

Mad Men's Matthew Weiner ruins everybody's fun by saying "No one's going to die this season." Why does this information make me so unhappy?

And finally, Dean Cain learns there's a new Superman movie... and really wants to be in it! Question: Do you want to tell him, or shall I?