Warped Tour: A Meditation on Aging

Comments

1
Well that's all very interesting, Ms. Hallett, EXCEPT:

"competitors must stay for at least two hours (or until the event is over, whichever comes first) and are not allowed [...] distractions (phone/reading material) to dull the pain they may experience."

YOU OBVIOUSLY USED YOUR PHONE FROM THIS EVENT. YOU MUST THEREFORE GO TO THE BACK OF THE LINE AND TRY AGAIN, PARTICULARLY SINCE THE BAND WASN'T EVEN THERE.
2
@CC: Well said! Alison was clearly twittering during the whole thing.
3
SHENANIGANS!!! (With a capital "she"!)
4
Oh yeah I totally did cheat. I didn't read anything on my phone, but I tweeted a bit. I also read the instructions wrong and thought I had to stay for either the length of my event or two hours, whichever was *longer*, so I stayed for two hours instead of half an hour. So that was dumb.

But if you guys want to make me go again, sure. Maybe next time I can go to the candy factory or the kitten mansion.
5
I recommend a visit to the candy house on SE Milwaukee. That place is creeepy.
6
THERE'S A KITTEN MANSION?
7
An afternoon with my stroke-addled father would be fun. WARNING- He is over 70 and will probably hit on you.
8
"I'm kind of a schlumpy hipster dork with no visible tattoos who OBVIOUSLY likes to read."

Uhh, yeah. So, Hallett, did you wear a sign around your neck that said something like:

"I HOPE YOU ALL ARE "ENJOYING" THIS EXPERIENCE! I'm not. DON'T BE MISTAKEN! I AM NOT ONE OF YOU! I read books. BOOKS! Can't you tell? Can't you! Do you even know what those are? Have you even read James Salter? I didn't think so.
(Oh, and yeah, I ride bicycles too. Just thought you should know that)"

Yeah, I thought so.
9
o my. i didn't know Warped Tours still existed...
10
Sigh. I don't ride a bicycle. For the record.
11
Your tweets were really funny. I laughed at a good deal of them.
12
This Warped Tour experience was so much less warped than mine. When I worked the event in '05 or '06, a 15-year-old kid showed me how he had permanently fractured his iris by stabbing himself in the eyeball. The act was inspired by a wish to look more like Marilyn Manson...but I could tell he already regretted it. Kid, if you were trying to haunt me for life, well done.