THE LONE RANGER Ned uses the word "fiasco" to describe this thing, and he isn't alone—critics are piling on, and the box office is making people compare it to John Carter. (Oof.) Weirdly, this is all making me kind of want to see it; I had zero interest in it before. I also hear there might be some sort of demonic bunny in it? And that Johnny Depp spends half the film's runtime trying to feed the dead bird he wears as a hat? Fiasco!
DESPICABLE ME 2 "You probably hoped that your children would have more discerning tastes than fart jokes and merciless cartoon violence by now," Zac writes, "but kids are dumb and the worst, and it's literally going to make $500,000,000 regardless of what anybody says, so whatevs?"
20 FEET FROM STARDOM Elinor thinks this documentary about backup singers is great! Me, I'm holding out for a documentary about hype men. RIP, Joe C.
A BAND CALLED DEATH A great doc about "one of rock history's greatest and best anomalies." So look! Ned also saw something good this week! More proof that the universe makes everything work out in the end, so long as you forget about the existence of Despicable Me 2.
HANDMADE MONSTERS: THE MASTERS OF PRACTICAL EFFECTS The Hollywood Theatre kicks off a cool 35mm movie series featuring the best from old-school special effects wizards. This week: King Kong, with King Kong vs. Godzilla, An American Werewolf in London, and The 7th Voyage of Sinbad coming up. Monster movie expert H. Perry Horton tells you which ones to be most excited for.