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The amount of great comedy in town this weekend is bananas. CHOOSE WISELY, YOUNG RANGER!

TONIGHT:

Neil Hamburger and Tim Heidecker:Denis put it well in our event pick: "Neil Hamburger, the undisputed king of one-liners and heckler-silencing, is what would happen if the Borscht Belt were still a thing, except if borscht were a dish made of phlegm chunks and scotch. Tim Heidecker, the more winsome half of anti-comedy duo Tim and Eric will join him. Also, this is the best thing ever." w/Jeff Breakfast; Star Theater, 13 NW 6th, 9 pm, $18

SATURDAY:

Jackie Kashian: I've seen a lot a lot a lot of comedy in the past few years, and Jackie Kashian might top the list of "comics I most want to be best friends with." (Too bad she's already Maria Bamford's best friend, according to the credits on Bamford's Special Special Special!) At 6 pm Kashian's recording an episode of her podcast The Dork Forest—with guest Carrie Brownstein!—and at 10 pm, she's performing a standup set with Whitney Streed. Both shows are the Hawthorne Theatre; tickets here.

SUNDAY:
(Sunday is where it gets tricky!)

Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction: At 6 pm, it's the return of Bryan Cook's tremendously fun Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction, in which comics are given half an hour to write a piece of sexy, sexy fan fiction on a topic randomly chosen from audience suggestions. It's a great show—I still giggle when I think about Kurt Braunohler's riff on the Golden Girls at Bridgetown—and I'm glad to upgraded from the Brody to a bigger venue, the Hawthorne Theater, which will hopefully put out chairs for the occasion. (I like sitting!) The lineup is fantastic: Jackie Kashian is stopping by, plus reigning Portland champion Ian Karmel, Kristine Levine, Gabe Dinger, Christian Ricketts, Shane Torres, Barbara Holm, Steven Wilber, and Philip Schallberger. If you don't follow comedy: That's most of the best comics in Portland. More details here!

Hari Kondabolu: And at Helium at 7:30 pm, the brilliant Hari Kondabolu, whom Temple wrote about earlier today. If the shows were spaced just a bit farther apart it might be possible... But they aren't, and it's not. I got my tickets to this show, but it was a tough call. Tickets here.