This letter was originally published August 17, 2006:
I have just begun to experiment with light S&M. As I write this, I have jute twine tied tightly around my balls and cock, and a cast-iron frying pan (quite heavy) dangling from the rim of my cock's head, attached with twine. The head of my cock is getting a little blue-ish after 15 minutes of this fun, and I'm wondering if I'm going to pay for this pleasure later. That is, could I permanently damage the blood vessels down there and mess up my sex life?
I've placed an online ad looking for a dom female to teach me what there is to know and hopefully go to a party with me, tie me up, pour hot wax on me, and all that. But I'm wondering, since dom women probably don't care if they fuck up the guys they torture, should I be concerned about permanent damage? Are injuries common in this scene?
Cock Blue Today
My response after the jump...
First things first: Stop hanging frying pans from the head of your dick. I'm not going to go all Dr. Drew on you here—lots of healthy, sane men enjoy cock-and-ball torture (CBT), because they find it crazy hot to have their junk slapped around—but you have got to knock that shit off before you permanently damage your cock. Before you engage in any more self-administered CBT, I would advise you to read Hardy Haberman's Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment. And when you're done with that fine book, please read—from cover to cover—Jay Wiseman's SM 101: A Realistic Introduction. The former will improve your CBT technique, CBT, and the latter will disabuse you of the ridiculous misconceptions you hold about the BDSM scene.
Finally, and for the record: Dom women do care about the men they "torture"—any woman who thoughtlessly or intentionally "fucks up" guys isn't going to be welcome in any organized BDSM scene. And any wannabe S&M bottom who thinks finding a dom woman is as easy as placing an ad or showing up at a play party is in for a rude awakening.