Late yesterday, Latino Review, a movie news/rumors website, updated with an exclusive story about who might be cast in the newest Star Wars movie. Lots of things happened at the 2013 San Diego Trailer & Advertising Expo, but there was no real Star Wars news, no day in which fans of a galaxy far, far away were herded into a giant pen and fed commercials until they were fat with excitement.

Latino Review satiated some of that hunger with their report, stating that the names being "tossed around" at Lucasfilm were Ryan Gosling and Zac Efron.

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This seems plausible-ish, I guess. Both have a Disney background, both are age-appropriate, although to be honest, that's just as much a guess as anything regarding this new Star Wars movie, since nobody really knows anything about the story, or the tone, or even the title. For some fans, this rumor might even seem predictable, because why wouldn't a Disney production feature actors with Disney backgrounds? And honestly, considering what a teen puppy mill Disney's been for the last 20 years, it's hard to find viable young actors that haven't been touched by Mickey's glove at some point in their career.

Also predictable: The immediate backlash to the idea that Ryan Gosling and Zac Efron should be in a Star Wars movie.

To quote from a completely different sci-fi series, "All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again."

Back when the prequels were still something to be anticipated, there were rumors that both Leonardo DiCaprio and Justin Timberlake were being pursued. And people now, in hindsight, consider that a bullet dodged on their respective resumes. But at the time, the reaction was, essentially:


Guess what's happening now in regards to hearing that Zac Efron and Ryan Gosling are merely rumored to be in a Star Wars movie.

It'd be one thing if the fanfic-writing, tumblr-curating, Rule 34 photoshopping fanbases of those two actors were being placed in the movie. But they're not.

It'd be another if the actors hadn't established themselves as legitimate talents capable of essaying a variety of roles with conviction.

It'd be another if anyone knew what the hell the story, or the tone, or hell, even the title of the movie was, as those things are probably better indicators of what the film will be like than a couple rumored actor names, considering people like Christopher Lee, Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, and Natalie Portman were all essentially stranded by the three most recent Star Wars movies, despite being great at their craft.

But who needs any of that? Even when Gosling's rep has already told press that the rumor is false and Gosling is still planning on taking a break from being in every indie movie made for the past three years plus Gangster Squad, it doesn't matter. It's a decade later, and the first reaction by some fans of this family-friendly, all-ages property is:


I kinda hope the rumor is true now, just so these little boys will be forced to sit through the movie (because they're still going to buy their tickets) and end up enjoying the performance, just as they did when Neil Patrick Harris suddenly wasn't Doogie Howser anymore, or when Joseph Gordon-Levitt wasn't just the dork from 3rd Rock anymore, or when Heath Ledger wasn't just a gay cowboy who could never replace Jack Nicholson.


Star Wars, Episode VII is still scheduled for release in Summer, 2015.