The temps are up and inhibitions are low, so let's see what we've been getting hot and bothered over this week in the Mercury Letters to the Editor!

—Surely by now you've noticed that big, fancy Scientology building downtown, surrounded by pretty girls handing out free tickets to Dianetics? Brian writes in to say, again, because it really can't be said enough: KIDS! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THEM! Seriously. (With apologies to Emperor Klaktu, who is really kind of adorable.)

—Again, Clay riffs off a music preview to plug East Portland regulars Ron Ruedi and the Hurricanes. That was your last one, buddy.

—What do you think about the case of an Office of Neighborhood Involvement employee's son getting manhandled by the police, followed by his mother's well-connected quest for justice? Jarhead thinks mommy shouldn't be fighting his battles, and PS thinks he's lucky he didn't get shot.

—Ian ghostwrites his own column in the voice of a moron. Not everybody gets it.

—Unbarbed sympathy for an I, Anonymous author two weeks in a row? You people are getting soft.

Chris Onstad's review of Old Salt was pretty favorable, right? "Clearly woven with strands of genuine talent"? "Of a vision and of a design"? "A comfort-food bull's eye"? No? I'mrightyourwrong calls that "faint praise."

—Ryan shredded up his Mercury tiger shirt in what we can only assume was a tiger-related encounter. We're giving him a new one because despite what some people say we are a kind and generous people.

Hold the table salt.
  • Ashley Anderson
  • Hold the table salt.