GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Maybe we'll meet at a bar. He'll drive a funky car. Maybe we'll meet at a club. And fall so deeply in love. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
President Obama offers a deal to the Republican pricks in Congress to cut corporate taxes if they'll just support jobs for the middle class LIKE THEY WERE FUCKING HIRED TO DO OMIGOD THESE ASSHOLES ARE THE WORRRRRST!!!
Scientists unearthing the tomb of King Richard III are now puzzling over a new mystery: a coffin within a coffin! It's like the nesting egg of the dead! (Dibs on that movie title.)
It's verdict day for Army Pfc. Bradley Manning, who was charged with "aiding the enemy" by giving government secrets to Wikileaks. (I'd still like to see him star in a buddy action comedy with Edward Snowden.)
You know there's trouble when you read these two words in a headline: "Florida" and "propane plant."
Pakistan prison break! 200 escape after the Taliban attacks the largest jail in northern Pakistan.
Remember the Chandra Levy case? The Washington intern who in 2001 disappeared and was later found dead in a park? The case may be reopened due to supposed discrepancies in the key witness' testimony. You don't remember any of this, do you, because you're like, 12.
At least 10 suspected Nazi war criminals who were ordered out of the country are still around today, because they think that, other than the Jews, America is pretty great.
OMIGOD! PRESIDENT OBAMA AND HILARY CLINTON MET FOR LUNCH!!! OMIGOD! OMIGOD!! (Hey, if you guys aren't gonna eat that pudding, I'll totally take it.)
Serial spitter Justin Bieber allegedly spits on his fans—OR DID HE? (Whether he hit anyone or not, he was still spitting. STOP SPITTING, JUSTIN BIEBER!)
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Only partly cloudy today with a high of 81.
And finally, it's fun to pretend your curling iron is a microphone... UNTIL IT'S NOT.