The Pentagon finally has good news for same-sex couples in the military: Spouses will soon receive housing and healthcare benefits they've long been denied, and unmarried service members will be allowed to take time off to travel to a state where marriage equality is the law.

If you happen to mention, in an email or a phone call, the name of a foreigner currently under investigation by the United States government, the National Security Agency will probably find out—thanks to its widespread practice of hunting through everyone's personal communications.

Barack Obama has decided not to hold a summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin after all, snubbing the dictator over his embrace of NSA leaker Edward Snowden.

The two don't get along so well, a point made clear when the Kremlin went out of its way to publish a telegram Putin sent to the heart-surgery-recovering George W. Bush, who late in his presidency called Putin "cold-blooded."

Classy protesters in Arizona decided to heckle the president with chants of "bye-bye black sheep" and also by noting he was a "half-white Muslim."

Even though Yemen crowed about squashing a widespread terrorism plot, presumably the source of a White House decision to shut down embassies in the Middle East and Africa, government officials say they're not quite convinced it's time to give the all clear.

Did Syrian rebels, in a stunning reversal after weeks of losses, manage to attack Bashar al-Assad's motorcade with artillery? Maaaaybeeee?

Japan is bugging over new claims that more radioactive water is leaking into the Pacific from the quake-damaged Fukushima nuclear plant.

Someone found a dead shark on a New York subway train. Why does this smell like guerrilla marketing for fucking Shark Week?

A bunch of people who waste money on shit like lottery tickets just got a BUNCH more money to waste, because of those lottery tickets.

An apartment building under construction in the Eliot neighborhood went up in giant flames this morning, resulting in a rare five-alarm call from the Portland fire bureau and wee-hours appearances from both Mayor Charlie Hales and Fire Commissioner Dan Saltzman. The flames were big enough that they spread to some nearby homes, causing panic and forcing officials to cut power for a several blocks around the site.

HERE'S ONE NEIGHBOR'S BEWILDERED 4:30 AM VIDEO OF THE FLAMES, JUST ONE BLOCK FROM HER HOUSE! PEOPLE WERE GETTING OUT THEIR GARDEN HOSES! "I WOULD, TOO!"