For all of you other film nerds who, like me, want to light yourselves on fire whenever it has to be explained to people why they shouldn't text during movies, here's something slightly less annoying: "The Dwayne Johnson Effect: Why the Rock Should Be In Every Movie Ever," an impressively scientific and, I would suggest, 100 percent unfuckwithable theory "based off the monetary history of the twelve-year-old Fast and Furious franchise." Who wrote it? I do not know. Whoever it is, they're a genius. Taking a simple fact we all know about the Rock's M.O. ("He leaped fifty thousand feet into the air, performed the people's elbow on an unsuspecting cloud, and dollar bills rained down on the Fast and Furious franchise from this cloud"), this anonymous report then goes on to provide a whole lot of charts and numbers, then make some bold conclusions.

I've assembled one definite and one variable (with three options) in my Dwyane Johnson Effect theory. We'll need more data to determine which variable option is correct, but for now we'll leave things open.

Definite One: Dwyane Johnson can increase the budget of the next entry in your franchise by 47%.

Variable One: Dwyane Johnson can increase the box office take of the next entry in your franchise by 72%.

Variable Two: Dwyane Johnson can increase the box office profit of the next entry in your franchise by 80%.

Variable Three: Dwyane Johnson can increase the % made back of the next entry in your franchise by 17%.

I urge you all to read this important work of financial analysis. Thanks to Mike Russell for the heads up.