Ahhh... now here's how you write an I, Anonymous. From a submission entitled, "I'm Sorry that it's Your Voice":

And last night, even though we have never met, I had to talk you out of masturbating while on the phone with me. I get that we’re adults, and I get that our conversation went sexual for a second because we talked about personal experiences, about what we like and don’t like. But you have a penis, and you explained to me that you don’t watch porn on your own (I'm not turned on) or go to strip clubs. You said I don’t ever have to worry about walking in on you masturbating to girls on the computer. But, I want to walk in on my partner purposely masturbating knowing I’m coming home and will catch him, cause its fucking hot.

MORE LIKE THIS, PLEASE. Read the rest of this excellent submission, and submit your own (even better, if possible) rant and/or confession in the I, Anonymous Blog—where walking in on you masturbating is definitely not hot (for us, anyway).