The war machine springs to life re: Syria, opening an eager eye and trying to figure out just how the hell we're going to justify the direct military involvement that seems more and more inevitable. The latest thinking: bill it as Kosovo 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Meanwhile, both Syria and Russia have suggested the chemical weapons attacks spurring the new furor may have actually been carried out by rebels hoping to foment foreign opposition to the government. Syria now claims it's found chemical weapons in rebel hideouts.

A relentless wildfire in California has breached Yosemite National Park and is jeopardizing San Francisco's power grid. If it were a hurricane, it would have some sort of bad-ass grandma code name. Instead it toils under a decidedly undignified moniker: the Rim Fire.

Crowds are thronging the National Mall today, to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, one of the civil rights movement's more-famous milestones. Martin Luther King Jr.'s beloved "I have a dream" speech actually occurred on August 28, 1963, but, hey, it's Saturday.

Also in DC: A new baby panda! And you can watch it slingshot cruelly from its mother's loins in HD (at least I think that's what's happening?)!

With Army Major Nidal Hasan officially guilty in a 2009 attack on soldiers at Fort Hood, a new question emerges. Would executing Hasan actually be rewarding his actions?

One hesitates to call anyone a ninja in these ninjutsu-reference-choked times, but Edward Snowden was dropping smoke bombs and wielding his fukiya with grand-master skill all over the NSA mainframe.

This has been said countless times, but I find the need constantly arises to repeat. Fuck you, George Zimmerman.

In May, 12 people were brazenly abducted from a nightclub in Mexico City. Five of them have now turned up in a mass grave unearthed outside the city. Mexico is insane.

It's cloudy. Gonna stay that way, seems like.


This edition of Good Morning, News is decidedly bereft of whimsy, I'm aware, but sometimes that's called for on a Saturday. Watch this speech, already.