I've got some strong opinions about mermaids (they're gross, and I hate them). But actually it goes deeper than that. I think I'm a one-species-per-body purist. Centaurs, it turns out, are even more disgusting than mermaids.

If you look at the way they're connected, centaurs have an entire human torso. But they also have a full horse digestive system from the neck down. That means they eat human food, digest it, and then poop it into their horse necks like their own human centi-steeds.

And you've been to enough parades to know how horses work. Even if he's wearing a leather vest and looking suspiciously like Pierce Brosnan...

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Or is shirtless and sexy and trying to sell you soap...

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don't forget he's half horse. He can't control his bowels. So he'll just be walking around your house or demigod camp randomly dropping gigantic horse poops everywhere.


I don't like satyrs either. They seem fun and sexy, but don't forget Mr. Tumnus is hiding a goat penis.

Drider, Harpy, Ketu, all of them are incredibly disturbing. The problem is these species combos aren't goldendoodles: you didn't just breed two dogs and come up with a teddy bear that can play fetch. It's more like you cut a retriever and a poodle in half and glued the parts together. If you've got to do it, at least stop at the head.