Good afternoon, mister mailbag! What have we got in the way of letters today?

Well!

—Students! The chancellor of WSU Vancouver is trying to lure you with in-state tuition pricing and assurances that they are "scenic" and "easy to find," and that "you'll feel right at home." Look out for that when you're out shopping for continued education.

—Manuel submitted a totally "us" column for consideration about how the United States is going to meet imminent destruction at the hands of a punitive god. Actually maybe we do have something in common.

—You never know what the last straw is going to be for people. Apparently for reader Tito it was Ryan Gosling. Huh.

—Will and Montiel are in a slapfight about magic. This would be more fun if they were actually fighting with magic.

—Johan wrote in to simplify our perspective on teen birth rates in Oregon, noting that "Apparently, the species monitors itself." The fact that I titled his letter "Monitor Wizard" is my favorite thing in the paper this week.

—Oh! And then Diana swung by to holla at Alison for her excellent handling of reviewing the craptacular film Austenland, in which Colin Firth's nipples feature prominently.

Letters to the Editor: Go on and try it!