You probably read that headline and were all "A ninja tears what? Tears a phone book in half? Tears sheet of steel in to quarters? TEARS A SPINE OUT OF SOMEONE'S BODY???" Alas, I am here to tell you that you read it wrong: The title is ninja tears, as in the fluid that comes out of my eyes whenever I thinks about the kindly old dogs at the pound that no one wants because people are selfish assholes who only want to adopt stupid puppies that shit and piss all over and don't even know what love is—unlike Watson, the sweet chocolate lab mix who, yeah, might have some eyesight problems, but does know what the most important thing in the world is: friendship.

RIP, Watson.

Anyhoo, here's a trailer for the sequel to Ninja, entitled Ninja: Shadow of a Tear, which is, clearly, an excellent title. (Did you know the first Ninja even existed? I saw it, because of course I did, and it was really terrible.) I'm posting it here because it's nice to see something that lafdsooks like it would have been made in the '80s, and something that looks earnest about being a callback to '80s action movies—unlike, say, The Expendables series, the less of which anyone says about the better. I should note that this preview was posted to the YouTube account of the Ninja himself, Scott Adkins, which is a sign of awesomeness and pride.

I will watch Ninja: Shadow of a Tear.