Originally published January 19, 2006:
I knew my wife had a kinky side when we tied the knot. However, I was not prepared for piss. I have tried my best to put out a hot stream for her, but as a child I was always the "smallest." I was teased at school and since that time I have been unable to urinate if someone else is present. I have loaded up on water, beer, and cranberry juice, and given it the ol' college try—but barely a trickle. I posted a request for advice on an internet site for piss lovers, but they only wanted me to send my wife over. Any advice on overcoming my pee shyness?
Peeing In Private
My response after the jump...
My first impulse was to advise you to leave the room, piss in a bottle, and then return and pour it over your wife. But when I ran that idea past a piss freak—straight and married, just like you—he objected. "Part of the thrill of being peed on is the connection you feel to the other person's body," he said. "The stream connects you. It's humiliating, and that's part of the turn-on, but it's also really intimate."
So my bottle idea is out—did my piss-freak friend have any other suggestions?
"Some pee-shy types have gotten over it by investing in some rubber tubing and a funnel," the piss freak said. "You stand on a chair in another room and piss into the funnel, which is attached to the tube. Your wife, on the floor in the tub in another room (she needs to be lower than the funnel and the tube for obvious reasons), holds her end of the tube over whatever part of her body she wants him to piss on. Once you get comfortable pissing on her like this, make the tubing shorter and shorter until you're in the room, and then get rid of the tube altogether."