It's early, everyone, and I'm coast-bound in a few short minutes. You've got days and plans ahead as well, I know, but even the best-laid plans are just so-much plankton before the bizarre, baleen maw of the News. She stops her labored swimming for no one. Let us take a few moments to grant her her due.

War averted? The US and Russia have already reached an accord on removing or destroying Syria's chemical weapons arsenal by mid-2014—meeting, in part, for coffee 'neath a white umbrella on a Swiss pool deck. It's a lightning-quick handshake in the oft-sluggish arena of sensitive international diplomacy. The premise isn't even a week old. It's also missing a key player: Syria.

Most people are pleased four Indian men who carried out a horrific gang-rape last year have been sentenced to death, says the New York Times. But there's also a feeling of futility among some Indians that the punishment won't curb what's emerged as an alarming problem.

Soon, even YOU can own a piece of Twitter. And make some folks very rich in the process.

A brief look at recent mass tragedy:
A fire kills 37 people in a Russian mental health institution.
A suicide bomber kills at least 23 funeral goers in Iraq.

More great Columbia River Crossing news! (If you like the Columbia River Crossing, that is). A slapdash, Oregon-led version of the new Interstate 5 bridge is legal, according to the Oregon Department of Justice.

Forget a bag ban. Lawmakers in England are set to begin charging shoppers for every plastic shopping bag they require. The £5 they'll cost equals about $8. Aren't they like $.50 if you buy them in Portland? And sort of reusable? Aaaaaand I know nothing about British currency.

Oakland lawmakers, sick of an epidemic of gun crimes washing over the city, are hoping the governor will grant them authority to regulate firearms. It's a novel idea. You can guess how pro-gun groups feel about it.

The world is full of assholes, but Pax Dickinson merits special attention.

Feels like I just took the fenders off my bike.... 'Spose it's time they went back on.


I feel like listening to this, right now. You should listen to it, too.