Tonight the nerds of the world will squirt in unison for the debut of Joss Whedon's Agents of SHIELD. (Yes, I refuse to call it Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, and I refuse to put periods after every letter. Fuck you, Marvel.) For those who can't wait, here's a quick roundup of what the nation's TV critics think of SHIELD. (Spoiler alert: They're not exactly squirting.)

The New York Times says, "moderately entertaining... but there’s still an inevitable residue of disappointment."

New York Daily News says, "S.H.I.E.L.D. is rip-roaring good fun."

Slate says, "[It's] too self-serious to be really goofy, and yet too fan-boyish to rescue even one hour of television from mediocrity."

Hitfix says, "And how is it? It's... okay."

A.V. Club says, "There are enough fun and funny moments in the Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. pilot to suggest the kind of show that will settle into a groove with time. Yet there are also moments that seem boring, cautious, and predictable."

Redeye Chicago says, "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is good, but not quite great—at least not in its first hour. That doesn't mean it's not an entertaining ride with incredible potential."

You'll be hearing much more tomorrow (TRUST ME), and be sure to pop by Blogtown in the morning for our Agents of SHIELD recap from our own Bobby Roberts! Until then... I believe the take home message is clear: manage your expectations.