It's a bit of a haggard morning in North Portland, where I've recently moved. I was honor-bound to explore the watering holes within walking distance of my new home last night—they were several, and solid. The GMN! vibes of this new coffee shop, though? Suspect. Let's give it a go.

SPEAKER'S LOG, Government Shutdown Day 5: We're idiots.

(I've never seen a single episode of Star Trek, but they do something like that, right? It's a passable and humorous adaptation? Cool, thanks.)

While Republicans try to bail out the dinghy in leaking oaken buckets, Democrats have finally found their feet, says Slate.

Good new for furloughed federal workers, though. This whole debacle basically amounts to free vacation days.

Capitol Hill's insanity, meanwhile, is leaching out into the rest of the district. First police (probably needlessly) shot a Connecticut woman who tried to drive through a barrier Thursday. Then yesterday, a man self-immolated on the National Mall.

Oh hey, everyone. Go to Wordstock today! And tomorrow! It's fun and interesting and you'll find yourself buying way more books than you planned on or need, which is always a good thing. (Alison promised to get me a ticket for free this year, but then didn't even try. So looks like I'm paying the very reasonable price of entry and Alison is doing whatever she does, which, I can guarantee you, does not include reading this tired recitation of impotent rage. But she'll get what she deserves....)

Maybe we're gonna pull out of Afghanistan? Like, completely?

Alex Rodriguez is a baseball player of some renown, who lately has been humiliated by steroid scandal. He's not having it.

Check out this month-old map I'd never seen before. It shows the most-prevalent ancestry for every US county. Basically, you're all German while I'm busy repping one of those three sweet green counties in West Michigan.

Here, read about some small controversy with Chicago's bike share program, run by Portland-based Alta Bicycle Share. Some of the bike racks are getting in people's way! We're supposed to get an identical system next year!

Remember the hopeful overtures between the US and Iran in New York last month? Iran's notoriously mercurial supreme leader says some of that was "not appropriate."

This is going to shock you, but the Oregonian's editorial board is beating the drum for an Oregon-led version of the Columbia River Crossing.

Sweet, sweet damn it's pleasant out right now in NoPo.

Everyone knows my greatest strength is a dead-on Krang impression. That doesn't come easy, y'all. You've gotta stay on top of your game—spend each and every Saturday morning watching Krang clips.