We're back! Welcome once again to The Walking Dead Chitty-Chat Club in which we recap and discuss the show where shoving a screwdriver into a zombie's eye is no longer a big thing. After a shaky last season, did The Walking Dead return with a bang? Check after the jump for my recap, and your incisive commentary! It's The Walking Dead, y'all! LET'S GET CHITTY-CHATTING!

RICK! BEHIND YOU! Its Zombie Tilda Swinton!

Here's what I'm thinking about last night's episode (and fourth season opener) "Thirty Days Without an Accident."

1) Ahhhh... life sure is sweet in a prison! While the zombies (now more than ever) are still knocking at the gate, it's been months since the war with the Guv'nah, and now all the new people have settled into their jobs, and even Rick is relaxed and farming the community garden. Only a buried gun reminds him of the past—which he tosses in with the other rotting vegetables. HEY, YOU CAN'T THROW GUNS IN THE COMPOST, RICK! THEY'RE NOT BIODEGRADABLE!

2) Even lil' Carl is 57 percent less murder-y than before and has named their prison pig "Violet" (but don't "awwww" just yet... that, my friend is foreshadowing.) While the community garden is supplying some food, the gang is still forced to go outside the prison for the MEAT they so crave. Tyreese is tired of killing zombies on the fence, and wants to join sis and the tough guys (including formerly racisty Darryl) on runs to z-infested Costco. Meanwhile, Rick volunteers to check the rabbit snares out in the woods—alone. Because he has learned absolutely nothing. Hey! I don't think anything bad will happen. Do you?

3) The Tough Guy Crew travels to Costco decked out in their macho shithead military gear, and think they're pretty hotshit—until the new guy (and probably alcoholic) Bob gets stuck under a liquor shelf (my dream come true) and zombies begin dropping in on top of them from the roof! AHHHH! AHHHHH!!!

4) Can I pause to say this is bullshit? So those zombies have been marching around up there for how long? And they're just NOW falling through the roof? Ugh! This zombie show is so unbelievable!!

5) Another one of the newbies, Zach—who totes looks like a fat Will Wheaton—is bitten and has his neck eaten off. Too bad! Because he was cozying up with the youngest Farmer McDrunky's daughter whose name I can never remember. Anyway, they rescue Bob and hightail it out of there. Don't forget to cash in your Costco points!

6) Meanwhile out in the woods, Rick is tromping around when he sees what he thinks is a zombie, but is actually a British person! (In his defense, zombies and Brits all have terrible teeth.) The Brit—who I will call Zombie Tilda Swinton—begs Rick to take her and her partner Eric in with the prison gang. Rick wants to check out this Eric person first, and suspiciously follows her back to the camp. P.S. that knife on her belt is FORESHADOWING.

7) Back at the prison, Carol is teaching the kids how to use knives to stab things during story-time. I have no problem with this. Newbie young person Patrick excuses himself from the lecture because he's ill, and because FORESHADOWING!! Daryl tells Farmer's daughter that her boytoy Zach was killed at Costco, and she's all like, "Whatevs, I don't have any emotions any more. Here's a hug!" (Also, Glenn and Maggie discuss having children, snore, whatevs, I don't have any emotions any more.)

8) Zombie Tilda Swinton leads Rick to her camp, where... HOLD ON A MINUTE! "Eric" is just a zombie head in a bag! And Zombie Tilda Swinton wants to feed Rick to him! Well, when that stupid plan doesn't work, Zombie Tilda Swinton stabs herself, and dies to become a zombie along with her headless boyfriend. Good luck, you crazy kids!

9) Meanwhile back at the prison, Violet the pig has mysteriously died (and turned violet... hmmmm), and young newbie Patrick is so sick his feet are sweating, and running an extreme fever. And let's see... other symptoms include bleeding from eyes, ears, and nose.... and turning into a zombie. TURNING INTO A ZOMBIE?!?! Without being bit? HOW CAN BE???

10) So that's that episode. Not a bad start to season four, considering. The unbelievable zombie dropping scene at Costco was still fun, and I liked Zombie Tilda Swinton, as well as the new confident prison crew. So it's time to tell me what YOU think! What do you think the origin of this zombie virus is? And will Violet the Pig become Zombie Violet? YOUR COMMENTS IN THE COMMENTS PLEASE!

Yeah, Im looking for bulk hummous? Oh... aisle 17? Thanks!
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Yeah, I'm looking for bulk hummous? Oh... aisle 17? Thanks!"