As you know the I, Anonymous Blog is where Mercury trolls go to meet other trolls and make troll babies. And yet? We never feature them in our I, Anon call-outs! I'm rectifying that (not very) shameful situation by instituting the occasional "I, Anonymous Blog COMMENT o' the Day"... starting with this one from JRR Trollkien who gives some verrrrrry suspect advice to a high school student who believes she's being stalked:

1. Make a cardboard cutout of yourself and leave it in your window at night with the light on.

2. Go hide in your alley behind some trash cans by the hole in the fence.

3. When he comes to creepily watch you undress at night you sneak up behind him and jab him in the neck vein with a tranquilizer dart full of Azaperone (probably need to steal this from the zoo).

His advice gets more diabolical from there... and involves some organ harvesting. Oh, I, Anonymous Blog commenters! I hope you never die horribly! Do you have a rant, confession, or unhelpful comment to share with the world? Visit the I, Anonymous Blog—it's like a troll jamboree.