This year it feels like everybody simultaneously realized that November starts with N-O. Everywhere I turn (okay, everywhere I turn on Facebook) I see another group of people participating in some ascetic self-challenge. No Sugar November, No Sex November. Ugh, wake me when it's Rocktober.

Obviously the prime offender is No Shave November, where men grow mustaches to raise awareness for... their beer blogs and storytelling shows. Not doing something that takes work is the laziest charitable action I've ever heard. You're not shaving for prostate cancer? That's so impressive! I'm gonna stop doing dishes to raise awareness of osteoporosis.

Personally, I'm participating in No Bullshit Challenges November. So you'll find me shaving whenever the fuck I want to (by which I mean "on a regular basis because I don't hate my wife"). I won't participate in any of those stupid challenges until they're all balanced by a month that starts with Y-E-S. I would participate in Yes Cookies Yesvember. But apparently I'm not Caesar so this is also No Create New Months November for me.

Easily the most obnoxious part of November is the Facebook-specific challenge 30 Days of Gratitude, in which people brag about their lives under the guise of showing gratitude to the universe. Yeah, I'm sure you feel really blessed to have a house with a two-car garage and have married your best friend, but seriously? Keep that to yourself. I'm grateful Facebook allows me to remove people from my news feed without them knowing.